Perspective

Today was a big day.  A big, messy, tiring day.

According to Joshua it was the "most fun day" he has ever, ever, ever had in his whole life.

That's saying something considering most of what I remember was getting frustrated, yelling a bit, and apologizing for getting frustrated and yelling.

I woke up with a headache, wondering how I would ever make it through and then before I knew it I found myself in a quiet house taking a hot shower, reflecting on a day that seemed impossible to me.  Praise God for getting me through.

Praise Him for getting our kids through.

Praise Him for getting Claude through.  (He woke up at 2:30am so that he could run 50 miles today.  A post with pictures is in the works.)

Praise Him for giving our children a positive perspective.

And praise Him for these same children who jumped in to take care of things I was not able to do on my own.

As I was attempting to get through on my own strength, I thought I should inform the Lord that He must have gotten the wrong girl for this job.  I can't raise these children.  I can't handle their energy levels and noise.  Today I couldn't even keep them fed at regular times.  Praise the Lord for a firstborn who knows how to both take initiative and make peanut butter and honey sandwiches!

Then I remembered that saying.  You know the one that is supposed to make you feel better even when you may be stumbling through the deepest, darkest valley imaginaeable?

"God doesn't give you more than you can handle."

Yeah, right!

I have given my life to God.  I have made myself available to His plans.  And He is in the midst of taking me up on the offer.  Giving more than what I can handle seems to be top priority at the moment.

I need to learn to rely on Him.  I need to be reminded that I don't have it all together - that apart from Him I can do nothing.

This life that I surrendered is no longer mine.  The plans I am currently living out are not my plans.  So how in the world do I think that my limitations and strengths should be carrying me through?

God has most definitely given me more than I can handle because He wants me to throw in my towel so that I will finally ask Him to do this work for me.  It is, after all, His work to begin with.  I have merely offered myself as a willing vessel through which the work can be accomplished.

Today that work was rounding up a group of incredibly excited kids to see their dad complete an ultra-marathon.  And let me tell you, it is NOT because of my mothering prowess that we managed.  Normally I can organize a day like this without much trouble.  Today I literally could not put two coherent thoughts together.  And this list-making fanatic stood, pen in hand, not thinking of a single thing to pack for the afternoon.

It was discouraging.  It was frustrating.  But mostly, it was humbling.

Praise The Lord for days when I recognize that I without Him I am the wrong woman for the job.

And praise Him for a son who reminds me that bad days are sometimes all about perspective.

I thought it was one of the worst days ever because I couldn't get my eyes off of my own shortcomings.  Joshua thought it was the best day ever because we were working together to celebrate a huge accomplishment for a man who has given everything for God and for his family.

Today was a big day.  A monumental, exciting, grace-filled day.