Our Story, Part 11 (Because Life Goes On Even After a Blog Series Ends)

WE'RE MOVING!

Everything may be bigger in Texas, but the population of Sugar Land will be seven persons smaller come the end of October.  Exactly two years after our arrival in the Lone Star State, we will be heading out for a new adventure.

 
Several months ago Claude was looking for a change in his work situation.  We prayed a lot and started applying for positions that seemed like a good fit.  One position was at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville.  It sounded like a great position and an ideal place to raise our growing Crew.  But, we never heard back from them, Claude got a transfer at his current place of employment, and that was that.

Then near the end of June I got a phone call in the middle of the day.  Since my phone is essentially an alarm clock, I was a bit surprised.  The call was from Claude.  The director of the flow cytometry facility at UVA wanted to know if he was still interested in the position.  They had a hiring freeze back in February/March and were unable to move forward with the search.

After praying and talking together we decided to move forward with the application and interview process.  Many things about the Charlottesville area were appealing to us, especially as we thought about our family life.  And God wasn't giving us an answer in advance, so instead of parking ourselves and waiting for a sign, we opted to see how God would direct our path as we entrusted our next steps to Him.

The interview was scheduled for the middle of July, but as the Lord would have it, we spent that weekend in the hospital while Claude had his appendix removed.  We weren't sure if the director would still be interested in waiting until he could go again for an interview, but we knew that if a medical emergency was the way God wanted to shut the door then we were at peace about that.

The door remained open.

Come the middle of August, Claude and I found ourselves (alone!) on a plane headed to Charlottesville, VA.  :)  We enjoyed a couple of days hiking in Shenandoah National Park and as I flew back home on Monday morning, Claude was at the University of Virginia interviewing for the position that we thought, way back in March, was closed.

He had very positive responses from the director, but we heard that the process could take a while to get to the point of a real job offer.  So, we hunkered down for a long wait.  And boy, did it ever feel long!

Normally a month rolls by in the blink of an eye.  This past month has felt like an eternity!  But, like most waits, this one came to an end.  This week Claude signed and returned the official offer.  Praise the Lord!

We are excited about what is to come and yet we are sad about leaving Texas.  The kids, especially, had mixed responses when we announced it to them.  They have known that this was in the mix from the beginning, so it wasn't a shock to them, but it's still hard for some of them to accept - especially when change is not usually welcome.

However, they are on board enough to have happily participated in our creative endeavor for the day.  :)

With five small children, you can never count on a great photo.  This, apparently, was as good as I was going to get.  Real life, folks.  Real life.

And here is the rogue "Virginia or bust" sign, complete with monsters, fire-breathing dragons, and camouflage letters.  :)

 And so begins a new stage in our journey!  Well, after we find a place to live, pack up all of our belongings, load up the moving truck, drive a couple thousand miles...  We'd better get to work!

Our Story, Part 10 (Final)

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9

Our last day in New York was a whirlwind.  Claude had to drive to Connecticut to have a hitch installed on our van and pick up the trailer.  Then he finished his last half-day of work, said good-bye to his co-workers, and headed over to our apartment building to pack up.

Back on the home front, I was finishing some last minute packing and trying to keep the kids from bouncing off the walls.  My neighbor was a lifesaver when she stopped by to help occupy the kids as I finished up.  And did I already mention that we had a 3-month-old?  That meant stopping every couple of hours to nurse him!

Our goal was to pack up, have a quick pizza dinner with a few friends, and get 3-4 hours of driving in that night.  Yeah...we were overly optimistic.  In the end, it took Claude a lot longer to pack the trailer than we had anticipated.  But we got it done...once we had some help from a friend to jam the last mattress in and latch the door.

Our little going away party consisted of some good friends and our last taste of New York style pizza.  :)

As we said our goodbyes and drove our little caravan down the street we had called home for the last six years I felt a strange sense of relief.  Yes, I was a little sad, but I think the few tears that I shed that night were out of stress.  Stress from the day of finishing up packing our life into a 5'x9' trailer.  Stress from three crazy weeks of packing and planning.  Stress from a total of seven very challenging years and many huge life changes in a short amount of time.  And relief, knowing that God was bringing out into green pastures - a chance to rest and settle into life with our growing family.

That night we only got 1 1/2 hours down the road.  It took us 3-4 hours because we were stuck in bumper to bumper traffic...at 10pm.  Gotta love the NY metropolitan area!  And the second day wasn't much better.  We were tired, got a late start, and had several bouts of motion sickness to contend with.  Needless to say, by the third day we were ready get some serious driving in!

We finally hit our stride on day three and the rest was pretty smooth.  We found what worked to keep the kids occupied (and it wasn't the movies on the iPad that we thought would be so useful!).  We worked out a system of driving two hours and stopping for one to go potty and nurse the baby.  It was slow going, but at least we could get several driving sessions in each day.

When we arrived at our friends' house on October 30, 2012 we were ecstatic!

After a week of working hard to set up house, we enjoyed our last evening with my parents and got ready to jump into everyday life in Texas.

I'm still amazed at how God orchestrated every detail of our move.  Our rental house is just the right size for us and in a great location.  My parents were able to help us for our first week so that by the time they left and Claude had his first day of work, our house was fully furnished and nearly every box was unpacked.

The boys' and girls' rooms in our Houston house.  I wish they were this clean right now!  :)

Among these bookshelves, my parents helped us put together three beds, two additional shelves, and helped us stock and organize our kitchen, toys, and probably many other things I can't remember.  We would still be living out of boxes if it weren't for their help!

We found a church right away and were warmly welcomed from the beginning.  The kids and I started going to the park once a week to meet other homeschool families.  And even though we had our usual daily ups and downs, we could breathe.  A little less than a year later and I'm still in awe!

Then, just a few months after arriving we were thrilled to announce that our family would be growing again!  The Little 5 would be joining the Crew at the end of October, 2013 - exactly one year after our arrival in Houston.  Of course, we're still awaiting her exact arrival date...but what a great way to celebrate a year of rest and abundant provision from The Lord!

Our Story, Part 9

 

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8

Then one day a call came from an academic institution in Houston, Texas.  One thing led to another, and after a Skype interview and a few weeks of waiting for a response, Claude had a job offer.

We had turned the corner, made it round the bend.  The Lord had heard our prayers and lifted up our cause.  Our waiting had ended and we were ready for a new adventure!

That new adventure started with a lot of purging and packing.  A one bedroom apartment can only hold so much stuff, but we did have 6 people living there.  It surprised me just how much we could fit in small quarters!

Because most of our stuff had been taken from the curb or given to us near the end of its life, we opted to give and throw away most of what we owned.  We kept clothes (except things the kids had already outgrown), linens, kitchen items, and our mattresses.  Everything else had to go because we were going to be moving in this:

Everything we wanted to take with us (including passengers!) fit into a 5'x9' trailer, our minivan, and a Toyota Corolla.

A 5'x9' trailer only holds so much and we knew that even if we were liberal in clearing out, it would be a tight squeeze.  In an effort to keep track of what would fit and what needed further sorting, I taped off an area in our living room just smaller than the dimensions of the trailer.  We even marked on the wall just how high the trailer would be, always leaving some wriggle room.

While I worked on the apartment, Claude was busy looking online for leads on rentals homes in Houston.  He did a lot of research and we decided to look in one particular area to be reasonably close to his job but in an area that was affordable.  We weren't aware until later that the main area we were looking is not particularly safe.

One week before our scheduled departure, Claude hopped on a plane to take a quick house hunting trip.  He was graciously hosted by some friends of ours and put in contact with a real estate agent who would help him view the homes we were considering.  We put in an application on one house the same day Claude viewed it, but we found out within hours that it was very unsafe in that particular neighborhood.

Our packing in progress.  The last two photos were taken on the day that we moved out of our apartment.  Claude did an awesome job carting everything out to the trailer and fitting it in just right!

I'm still amazed at how God works, because this was a huge disappointment to us.  But we did have a second choice - the only house in a different and safe area.  That's right.  There was only one house we looked at that was in a good area.  And there was already an application on it.

In the mean time, my parents had booked a flight to come and help us move in.  We were scheduled to arrive in Houston October 29-30 and my parents' flight arrived on November 2.  At that point we weren't even sure if we would have a house.  Talk about trusting The Lord!

I thought we should take along these little guys, too!

 A couple of days before we started to drive we were notified that our application for the house was accepted!  Praise The Lord!  We arranged to get keys on October 31 and move in November 1.  We were excited!  Now all that stood between us and a the start of a new adventure was a 1,700 mile drive with a 5-year-old, a 4-year-old, a 2-year-old, and a 3-month old.  But it would be fine, right?  Really, how rough could it be?  We had already traveled from New York to Melbourne with three kids 4 years and under.  The car trip would be a piece of cake in comparison!  Mmm-hmm...

To be continue...

Our Story, Part 8

 
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7

Waiting on The Lord is challenging for anyone at any stage in their walk with Him.  How much can our faith stretch before we make it round that final bend?  Will it snap before we get there?  Or will we just make it, muscles burning, legs collapsing underneath us?

It is a little bit like running a race, except for two things.  In a race, you've usually had time to intentionally prepare.  And, you know when you're in the final stretch.  There is a measurable distance that you know you will cover.  You've watched the mile markers as you've cruised along, and even if you're dog tired, you still know that you only have a limited distance left before you're finished.  Believe it or not, I've actually run a half-marathon.  I was tired.  I wanted to stop in mile 11, but because I knew just how much longer I had to go and because I also knew that I had run that distance before in training, I was able to keep my head in the game and not give up.

Our One Bedroom Apartment When We First Moved In - 2 Kiddos.

Laundry Room, Family "Closet", and Kids' Favorite Play Area (aka Living Room) - 3 Kiddos.

To me, waiting is actually more like childbirth.  You do your best to prepare, but you can't really simulate labor, so you just do what you can and hope that you're able to manage when the time comes.  And, like waiting on The Lord, with labor you can't predict the end.  Yes, there are signs that you're nearing the finish line.  There are moments when you can see the progress of your child's birth and you know the end is soon.  But it's not measured out.  You haven't run this exact race before.  It's easy to lose your head for a minute, and even if you've done it a few times (like I have) you still find yourself saying or tempted to say, "I can't do it".

Our Apartment Building - Before Kiddos, 1 Kiddo, and 2 Kiddos.

 I've waited on God a number of times in my life.  One waiting experience was when Claude and I were getting to know each other.  I was waiting for him to get the hint (which he had way before I ever did!) that we should get married.  I'd like to say I waited well in that circumstance, but I didn't.  I tried to push things along, I got impatient and frustrated with The Lord and with Claude.  I probably drove my friends nuts by hashing through all the details and frustrations a million times.

But I learned a lot in that process about waiting and more than that, I learned about trusting God.

The Dining "Room", October 2012 - 4 Kiddos.

Before our fourth child, Jeremiah, was born, Claude and I had been waiting on The Lord for a change in our living situation.  We were at a breaking point, close to the "I can't do it any more" stage but we were trying to hold out, knowing that God is faithful and that He hears us when we call out to Him.  But how and when would He answer?

We didn't have the kind of income that allowed us to just pack up and move into whatever home seemed appealing to us.  In fact, with three (soon to be four) kids and one salary, things were generally pretty tight.  We always had what we needed, but an increase in rent by nearly $1,000 a month was really out of the question.  It had to be the Lord's provision.

As I said before, we had prayed and searched for housing for several months before Jeremiah was born.  And we weren't getting anywhere.  By summer 2012, our half-joking predictions that we could make our one bedroom apartment work with as many as four children were coming true.  Our living room was our master bedroom, laundry room, family closet, office, music room, play room, and living room.  It worked.  Barely.

The Kids' Room - 3 Kiddos.

And on top of the tight quarters, life in the Northeast provided abundant stress (as if four children 5 years and younger wasn't stretching us enough!).  One night I was 20 minutes late for Jeremiah's nursing session because I had to drive for 20 minutes around our neighborhood trying to find a parking spot.  In the mean time, Claude was at home with a crying toddler and a screaming infant.  The neighbors called the police on us that night.  It was a tipping point for us.

We had, up until that point, assumed that we should stay in the New York area.  Much of this decision was based on our involvement in our church.  We didn't feel like we could just pick up and leave while we carried so much ministry responsibility.  In this, we had been putting our ministry outside the home above our family's needs.  Moving out of the area was not on our radar.  But when the police come knocking on your door all because your two-year-old won't go to sleep without milk and your newborn is hungry and waiting for Mom to park the car so he can eat, you start to think outside the box.

Walking Home from the Car - 2 Kiddos.

In addition to our ongoing housing search, we started praying more and seeking the Lord about moving away from New York.  Feeling at peace about moving forward, Claude began applying for positions around the country, always looking for areas that would offer affordable housing for our growing family.  He had many applications without any response and then one day a call came from an academic institution in Houston, Texas.  One thing led to another, and after a Skype interview and a few weeks of waiting for a response, Claude had a job offer.

Kitchen - 3 Kiddos.

The pay cut was substantial, but the cost of housing in Houston was considerably less than in New York.  After much prayer and a certainty of peace from The Lord, we accepted the offer and began packing.  We had three weeks to find a place to live, pack up all of our belongings, and drive 1,700 miles to a place neither of us had ever been.

We had turned the corner, made it round the bend.  The Lord had heard our prayers and lifted up our cause.  Our waiting had ended and we were ready for a new adventure!

To be continued...

Our Story, Part 7

 

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6

Life after Abby was born was very full...and very stressful.  I had a hard time adjusting to taking care of a 3-year-old, a 2-year-old, and a newborn.  The winter that year was very cold and snowy.  With giant piles of snow blocking the shoveled sidewalks from the plowed roads, I couldn't go anywhere on my own.  It was a looooong winter and I was glad for spring!

But spring didn't bring all of the relief that I was hoping it would.

Being able to easily take the kids out for a walk was a step in the right direction, but the change of season didn't change the day to day stresses of having a small crew of littles in a small apartment.  And it certainly didn't change the stress and burn out that Claude and I were both facing as we continued to minister in varying capacities at our church.

We both enjoyed ministry and wanted to be serving in our church family as much as possible.  The problem was that our ministry focus really needed to be at home with our children but we were trying to keep it focused outward - toward the church.  It was a recipe for frustration, if nothing else!

The Lord used it, however, to get our focus where it needed to be - in our home.  From before we had Hannah, I was working on a toddler Bible curriculum for our church's nursery.  I loved working on it and I especially loved teaching the lessons to the children at church, but I was getting tired and the demands at home were increasing rapidly.

One day I came to a realization that I was investing more of my time and attention to this curriculum than I was to my own children.  How could I be ministering to other people's kids on Sundays and yet be giving my own young children the leftovers of my resources?  It's hard to believe, but that's exactly what I was doing.  I'd like to say that I made changes right then and there...but I didn't.

By the time we were expecting the Little Four, Claude and I were both in complete burn out mode in ministry.  We were done.  We had nothing left to give.  We were also feeling the need for housing that would better accommodate our family.  Laundry in the basement, no parking, and other factors made little tasks feel impossible.

We were also stressed because neighbors would sometimes knock on our door to "see if everything is okay" when the kids would cry.  And when you have two toddlers and an infant there are times when all three of them are crying.  It just happens and it doesn't mean that anything is wrong.  But it drove home the fact that we needed to be some place where we could deal with the every day challenges of our little family without being in plain view and hearing of strangers.

We desperately needed more space.

So, we started praying.  For months we prayed and sought the Lord about what to do.  We started an extensive housing search, trying to find something affordable within a reasonable commute of Claude's workplace.  And we kept coming up empty-handed.

When the Little Four was born in July, 2012, we were overjoyed!

But we were probably at our lowest point in terms of feeling frustrated with being in the crowded and expensive Northeast.  We were doing our best to trust God to move us into a better living situation, but things didn't look very promising.  And in addition, we were still feeling torn between serving our family and serving the church (two things that, at the time, could not co-exist well), we were crying out to the Lord for wisdom and a clear leading.

When we named Jeremiah we liked the meaning, but it wasn't until a couple weeks after his birth that it hit me.  His name means "Yahweh has uplifted" and his middle name (Samuel) means "God has heard".  Not only was he cute and cuddly, but Jeremiah was an encouragement to us in an uncertain time.  We may have still been waiting for God's answer, but we knew that He had heard our prayers and was uplifting us - giving us grace through each day and making a way for a new stage in our journey with Him!

To be continued...

Our Story, Part 6

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

The thought of another child was definitely at the back of our minds...or maybe the forefront.  Following the Lord in faith is an exciting journey, partly because you never know what's around the bend.  And as we continually gave over our family planning, we wondered what God would do.

It wasn't long before we knew what was next.  One night, when Joshua was only a few months old, I noticed that my hair wasn't falling out like it normally does when I wash or brush it.  From my first full-term pregnancy I knew that could only mean one thing...

The Little One would soon be joined by a Little Two!

Claude and I were really excited about having another baby.  While most people responded positively to our news, we had some exhortations that made it clear not everyone around us was in agreement with our choice of family planning.

Of course, when we welcomed our first daughter, Hannah Elizabeth Chew, to the Crew on a beautiful October day in the fall of 2008, we didn't have any critics.  Who could be upset that we had "failed" to plan to prevent this little one from entering the world?

After Hannah's birth, life went on as it had for the year or two previously.  Claude was working, I was at home, and we were both still in the part-time orchestra.  We had some financial challenges around the time of Hannah's birth but God was faithful to see us through.  We were learning to rely on Him before looking to our own wisdom or resources - something that goes against the grain of what we were taught growing up.

Our one bedroom, fourth floor apartment was becoming less than ideal for two toddlers to be running around, so we started looking for a bigger place.  The problem was that in the New York metropolitan area we couldn't afford a bigger place.  So, we opted for a first floor, one bedroom apartment.  We jokingly said that with the size of the bedroom and knowing that only the laundry room was underneath us, we could live there with four kids and still make it work.

Little did we know...  ;)

We moved into our new apartment (just two buildings down the street from our old one) at the end of 2009, and just a couple months later we had another announcement to make.

The Little Three was on her way!

Abigail Joy Yong En Chew joined the Crew in September 2010, and we haven't stopped laughing with her since!  :)

Life after Abby was born was very full...and very stressful.  I had a hard time adjusting to taking care of a 3-year-old, a 2-year-old, and a newborn.  The winter that year was very cold and snowy.  With giant piles of snow blocking the shoveled sidewalks from the plowed roads, I couldn't go anywhere on my own.  It was a looooong winter and I was glad for spring!

But spring didn't bring all of the relief that I was hoping it would.

To be continued...

Our Story, Part 5

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Once we arrived back in New York after our three month trip to Australia, life took a turn we were not planning on.

We had kids.

I confirmed with Claude just recently that in our engagement and the first year of our marriage we never really had a conversation or came to any decisions about having a family.  We were reasonably afraid of having children in our first year and did our part to avoid it.  But then God started working on our hearts.  That process started on the plane trip back to the U.S.

I've always been prone to motion sickness, but in the flying I had done as a teenager and young adult I had only gotten sick on a plane one time.  The flight to Australia had been uneventful on the motion sickness front, so I was a little surprised when I got sick coming back to the states.  I thought it was a bit odd and left it at that.

Then I noticed that I was really tired.  Must be jet-lag.  Right?

And then I had a few other signs that made me wonder...but no.  I wasn't really pregnant, was I?

I didn't want to take a pregnancy test (why, I'm not sure), so Claude and I decided to just wait and see.  Within a week, I had miscarried.  With no pregnancy test for it to be official, I never told anyone.  But I knew.

What I didn't know is that this early pregnancy loss would be the catalyst for a complete shift in our thinking.

It wasn't more than a few days after the miscarriage that the Lord started talking to Claude and I about our plans for family.  No, we hadn't mapped out when we would have kids, but we were trying to avoid it.  Claude was concerned about financial provision.  And I was pushing to start a family.  We were not on the same page.

But God basically told us that He would overcome our desires in the area of children.  As we both let this concept sink in it made complete sense.  He is the God of the universe.  Why would our methods of birth control keep Him from bringing a child in His timing?  And, what was even more pressing to us, why would we give Him control of every other area of our lives and not submit our family to Him as well?

For us, it made perfect sense to leave our family planning to God.  It was a big step of faith for both of us.  But then we realized, we didn't have any idea what would be best for ourselves or our family.  Who are we kidding?  We may have some good ideas, but we are not omniscient.  And we wanted to be completely surrendered to the Lord, so we prayed and we let go of trying to prevent another pregnancy.

During this short period of time (really it was within a week or two of arriving back to New York from Australia), God had provided jobs for us at Starbucks and a family from our church very generously offered for us to stay in their basement while we saved money for an apartment lease.  God had again provided what we needed.  We worked and saved and enjoyed getting to know the family that was hosting us.  It was actually a refreshing time and we were really beginning to embrace where the Lord had us.

It was three months before we found a place of our own.  We moved in just after Christmas and by New Year's we were able to share a little announcement with our friends and family.

He came a few weeks earlier than we expected, but on a Friday evening in July of 2007, we welcomed Joshua Mu En Chew (aka - the Little One) to the Crew.

Just a month before his birth, Claude made a decision to find work in the science field and make use of his undergraduate degree.  He began doing research at a large university hospital in the city.  I quite my job making coffee and stayed at home with Joshua.  And we both played in a part-time orchestra for extra pay.

We weren't raking in the dough, but God was providing for us every step of the way.  And we were having fun being parents.

The thought of another child was definitely at the back of our minds...or maybe the forefront.  Following the Lord in faith is an exciting journey, partly because you never know what's around the bend.  And as we continually gave over our family planning, we wondered what God would do.

It wasn't long before we knew what was next.  One night, when Joshua was only a few months old, I noticed that my hair wasn't falling out like it normally does when I wash or brush it.  From my first full-term pregnancy I knew that could only mean one thing...

To be continued...

Our Story, Part 4

One of our purposes in having a family blog [link to about family abounds page] is to record our story.  And that is why I've been taking a post each week to tell how God has worked in our lives to bring us together and to teach us more and more of His abounding love and grace.  We are currently at a stage in our journey where some reflection and healing are needed.  It has been very good to remember back to our earlier years with a new perspective on the Lord and on life.

If you haven't spent time remembering your story, I encourage you to do so.  Even those painful and awkward memories may bring you greater insight and enlarge your view of God and His ways.

You can catch up on previous posts here:
          Our Story, Part 1 - How We Met
          Our Story, Part 2 - Getting Engaged
          Our Story, Part 3 - Getting Married and Starting an Exciting Journey

We left off last week with our whirlwind summer - relocation, wedding, quick honeymoon, and onto a new life together in the Big Apple.  Exciting, right?

Our first year together was probably the hardest we've been through.  At the time I insisted that it wasn't, but I'm pretty sure I was unable to let myself admit it.  But even though it was our hardest, it was also one of tremendous growth as individuals and as a couple.  The Lord taught us to lean on Him TOGETHER, and that has laid a solid foundation for our marriage.

I won't go into details here, but it's enough to say that we were in financial hardship that first year.  I could probably write a series of posts on that experience, how it made me feel, how others sometimes made me feel, and how it actually brought Claude and I closer together.  For now, though, I'll just say that we walked a lot and ate a little - and we were healthier for it.

While Claude studied and practiced during the days and evenings, I tried to find administrative work.  After a few months I finally broke down and got an hourly job as a cashier at the drug store across the street from our apartment.  It was very humbling for me, but it is one of the best things I've ever done.  Not the work...that was a bit lame.  But being humbled was very good for me.  Why, you ask?  Well, just allow the Lord to humble you in HIS WAY and you'll understand.

Even with Claude working a bit at school, my hours at the drug store, some violin teaching, and a part time orchestra gig, we still were struggling financially.  At one point some very well-meaning people suggested that we budget our money so that we wouldn't be wondering where this week's groceries were coming from.  The problem was that we hardly had anything to budget.  If you're earning about half of your overall expenses it doesn't really matter how you break it down...you're not going to make the bills without some help.

And help we did have.  We set our eyes on the Lord and trusted Him as best we knew how.  And God provided in many different ways throughout that year.  Sometimes He used the generosity of others and sometimes He gave us an extra gig.  Sometimes the numbers simply didn't add up and we really couldn't see how everything was paid.  But we were growing in faith and learning more of God's character - it was hard but incredible!

A quick note...some of our financial trials were a result of our choices but many were from external circumstances that we couldn't control.  What I learned, though, is that God doesn't seem to be concerned with how we get into trouble, unless of course it's a matter of sin.  As I've looked back to our money challenges I realize that our mistakes were simply out of immaturity but our hearts were fully set on the Lord, seeking Him and learning to trust Him more.  The hardship was not a means of teaching us money smarts - although we did grow in wisdom in that area - but rather a part of our path to knowing God more.

I will also add that Claude and I were both struggling that year with all of the life changes we had just endured.  He had just moved from a foreign country.  Wait a minute?  You don't think Australia is a foreign country?  They speak the same language, right?  Let me say the words "biscuit", "chips", and "pudding".  Same language...I wonder...  :)

The change of location was also hard on me.  Both of us, although we were learning to rely on God together in our finances, were feeling lonely.  Our friends and family were far away and as much as New York is a part of the U.S. it is very different from anywhere that I had (or have) ever lived.  It's culture shock for anyone who hasn't grown up there.

And then we hardly knew each other.  We had spent all of three months (if that) together before we were married.  That time was spread out - a few weeks here and there at a music festival - over a three year time period.  And more than half of that time was leading up to our wedding.  In other words, ALL of our time together had been in completely abnormal circumstances.  We simply didn't know the day to day side of each other.

The Lord had been speaking to us about being in the crucible - a place of being refined - and staying in the U.S. Northeast was part of that.  But with so many challenges, we were eagerly awaiting Claude's graduation and a ticket out of New York and a chance to take a little breather from the refining flames.

We needed to make a trip to Melbourne since Claude had to get a new visa, so in June 2006 we hopped on a plane and flew across the Pacific.  It was supposed to be short - just one month - but it wasn't until September that we had a visa in hand and were able to head back to the states.

Despite our desire to be done with New York, we were learning to give our plans and desires to the Lord.  And I think we had accepted where God was keeping us.  We weren't thrilled about it, but we did have peace and we both agreed that God's time for us in the Northeast wasn't over.  Maybe we'd be around for another year or two?  In any case, we had jobs to find and an apartment to save for.

And before we knew it God was growing us again...

To be continued...

Our Story, Part 3

 

Our Story, Part 1
Our Story, Part 2

From last time...

Despite my anxiety, I did meet Claude for breakfast.  And within a few weeks we found ourselves going out to dinner again.  But this time things were different.

Sometimes my memory fails me, and for this particular date (probably the only traditional date we've ever had) I don't remember if I knew why Claude was taking me to the nicest restaurant in the area or not.  And I don't remember how he broached the subject, but one way or another we were talking about engagement.

Aaaaaggggggggghhhhh!!!!!  FINALLY!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I was a bit elated.  :)

Note:  Claude has a back story as to how he came to the decision to get engaged on this particular trip.  It was NOT something he had planned and NOT anything I expected.  But like Proverbs says, "In his heart a man plans his way but it is the Lord who determines his steps."  This was just one of the first stages of following God's leading even when it's completely different from our own plans.

Claude had an audition in New York and his return flight back to Melbourne shortly after our engagement talk, so I figured a proposal would happen sometime soon.  At first I thought it might happen before he went to New York.  And...no proposal.  So, I was on alert but trying to be cool, calm, and collected as I waited.

We took a trip together to Baltimore for an audition that I had.  I thought he might propose on that trip.  We went there and back...no proposal.  Although we did have fun skidding around in my little Geo Metro through a snow storm.

And then there came a very normal, snowy day when he came into my office.  This was certainly not out of the ordinary since he was frequenting my office (practicing there, meeting me for lunch, picking me up after work, etc) during his stay in Indiana.  Nothing really clued me into this particular day except that I woke up that morning thinking, "This is THE day!"

Claude asked if I would go for a walk with him, and I agreed even though I had a cold and didn't really want to walk in the snow.  We walked down a path that we had walked a hundred times before during the summer music festival where we met.  And we stopped at a telephone pole.  Romantic, right?

Yes, it was quite romantic because it was at that very telephone pole that Claude had initially asked me into a relationship.  :)

As I shivered from the cold and sniffled from a runny nose, Claude got down on one knee and asked if I would marry him.

YES!!!  YES!!!  YES!!!

Beautiful ring on hand and both of us giddy with excitement we headed back to the office to share the news with our friends.  Then we celebrated in true Chew Crew fashion (although we didn't know it at the time) - we ordered pizza.  :)

The engagement was supposed to be long - 2 or 3 years long.  That would give both of us time to finish up grad school and get some jobs, etc, etc, etc.  Our best laid plans.

I'm not sure when or how, but before we knew it we were planning a wedding for August of that year.  It was probably April or May at this time.  So, we had a handful of months, we found out in May/June that we would be moving to New York in the late summer for Claude's school, and we wanted to get married in Montana where my family was.  Why?  Because neither of us was there and that makes wedding planning so much easier!  :)  I jest...

So, in one of the most stressful summers of our lives, Claude left home for the first time, moved to a new country, we met again at the MasterWorks Festival, bought a car together, drove to New York to find an apartment, flew to Montana, finished last minute wedding preparations, and got married.

It was Wednesday, August 24, 2005.  It rained through the entire ceremony and stopped when we finished.  Our sopping wet wedding party had wonderful attitudes about it.  And we had our reception in the garage/barn of some gracious friends of the family...there were pretty lights overhead and snow mobiles along the back wall.

Our three day honeymoon was a bit brief, but Claude had to be back in New York to start grad school.  And, of course, the rest of our lives was waiting for us.

I don't really have time for all of the little stories within this bigger story.  Like getting in a car accident on our first full day in New York, finding out that the people who sold us the car did something illegal with our registration, and then having the police officers tell us that if they happened to all go downstairs and if the car happened to no longer be in the lot when they came back up then there wasn't anything they could do about it.  *Wink Wink*  We drove that car with a broken passenger door and window for a year.

And the story of not having plane tickets to get to our own wedding until about two weeks before.  Then our crazy trip to the airport where we ran 1.5 miles in the middle of the night (luggage in tow) to the train station to catch the last train to catch the last airport bus of the night.  We waited at a bus stop in Harlem around 1am...I don't recommend this even if there are police officers patrolling the streets at all times.

And I won't even get started on some of the apartment hunting stories.  Let's just say that we had to increase our minimum rent by a long shot in order to be living some place that didn't look like a scene from Law and Order.  It was the beginning of a lot of faith steps.

But the stories are half of the fun and the adventure, and, after all, we were over the moon with each other and with what God had done and was about to do in our lives.  We, of course, had things all figured out.  Little did we know just how quickly God would take us up on our consistent surrender to HIS WILL.

To be continued...
 

Our Story, Part 2

We left off last time with a seven month silence.  That's right.  For seven months Claude and I had absolutely no contact with each other.  Now seven months can fly by and I can't tell where the time went.  But at that stage in life it felt like an eternity...and then some.

Claude will have to weigh in on this to say what he was thinking and doing during that time.  I'm pretty sure that my attempts at helping God's plans move along were a tad overbearing.  ;)  Probably it was a relief to get out from under my pressing on with making things happen.

On my end I was working through a lot of anger and frustration.  Looking back I can see that it was a time of learning to trust God, and even though I was far from perfect at it, He was faithful to teach me.

And then one day the silence was broken.

I'm not quite sure how it happened, but one day in August 2004 Claude and I started talking again.  At the time of first reconnecting I was in England for a music festival.  A few days later, while back in the states, we talked on the phone.

From here I honestly don't remember the progression.  It seemed that we were suddenly talking every day, whether by phone or email, although I'm sure it was a fairly gradual process.  And before I knew it the prospect of seeing each other in person was looming ahead.

In February 2005 Claude came to the states for an audition trip.  Because of audition dates and locations, he made his base in Northern Indiana where I was working for a Christian organization.  Convenient, right?  ;)

When the day came to make the drive to Chicago to pick up Claude from the airport I was beyond nervous.  It had been 1 1/2 years since we last saw each other and I wasn't really sure what to expect.  I remember feeling awkward and uncomfortable and I probably talked to myself the whole drive there out of sheer anxiety.

We met at a baggage claim carousel and headed out on our 3 hour drive back to Indiana.  On the way we stopped for a late dinner.  I was driving my roommate's car with gas that she paid for because I didn't have enough money in my account to cover the cost of gas and tolls to get to and from the airport.  So, when Claude suggested stopping for dinner I wasn't really sure how I was going to pay for it.  I naively assumed that he would???

When the bill came Claude must have noticed that I wasn't reaching for my wallet and said, "You know I'm not paying for you, right?"  My stomach dropped to my feet.  What was I going to do?  I actually remember thinking of having to wash dishes or something in order to pay for my meal.  And I'm not really sure why just being upfront with him even before stepping foot in the restaurant never crossed my mind.  My mistake, but God worked it out.

Somehow I got the story out that I had no money.  And by that I actually meant no money.  Zero dollars in my account.  This was not an exaggeration or a misconception of what I could afford.  I literally could not pay for that meal.

In the end Claude picked up the bill.  And eventually I heard the story as to why he originally said he wouldn't pay, but it's not for sharing here.  Suffice it to say that the bill was paid and I didn't have to wash any dishes.

After dropping off Claude at the home of some very gracious friends, we both got a short night's sleep before meeting up for breakfast the next morning.  But I found that I did not want to go.  I remember sitting on my bedroom floor in tears telling God that I couldn't go.

I know now that when I'm overwhelmed and have a million emotions I just cry and think that things look impossible.  But at the time it was very confusing to me.  Was I doubting what God had told me about marrying Claude?  That morning I didn't even know how I felt about Claude, let alone having any type of certainty of how he felt about me.  Going to breakfast seemed like a risk too big to take.

It didn't take long, however, for those fears to be dispelled and for God to take the reins of our relationship and work it out in His timing and His way.

Despite my anxiety, I did meet Claude for breakfast.  And within a few weeks we found ourselves going out to dinner again.  But this time things were different.

To be continued...
 

Our Story, Part 1

It all started at the MasterWorks Festival, where young aspiring Christian performing artists practice, play, and sometimes meet the person they'll one day marry.  I was there for about the hundredth summer (not really, but close) and Claude was there for his first time.  We met in the lunch line.  It must have been uneventful because only one of us remembers that first meeting (and it wasn't me).

Performing together for the first time.  Summer 2002.

Both Claude and I had just come out of some hurtful dating relationships within months of attending the festival.  I was still trying to forgive and heal from the pain of my previous relationship and after being very disappointed by a girl back in Melbourne, Claude had prayed and determined that he wouldn't get involved in a romantic relationship with anyone until he was certain she was "the one".

Enter our friend, Abigail.  She knew Claude from Bible study.  I knew her because I was her counselor.  About two weeks into the festival she invited Claude and I to meet, the three of us, for some time in the Word.  We met every day after that and within a few days, Claude and I were also meeting together in the evenings.  We sat on the steps of Rodeheaver Auditorium and aside being eaten by a bazillion bugs, we talked and talked and talked.

Summer 2002

I wouldn't allow myself to think anything of this friendship, even though I couldn't stop talking (or thinking) about this Aussie guy.  Claude, on the other hand, was at least asking God about it.  During a quiet time in his dorm room he asked The Lord if I was "the one" and the answer was "Yes".  Of course, I didn't find this out until WAY after the fact...which was all the better.

Fast forward a bit and we had said goodbye, left the festival for our normal college lives, and started communicating regularly by email and IM (does anyone remember IM???).  When asked around Christmas-time by my cousin if I would marry Claude I gave an incredulous, "No!  We're just friends!"  About four months later I was sitting in a church service and everything in my thinking changed.

As I sat during musical worship I heard the Lord speak to me.  I haven't had this happen before or since and it's hard to describe because I didn't hear with my physical ears, but the His voice was unmistakeable and impossible to doubt.  That sunny Sunday afternoon God told me that I would marry Claude and I would go to Australia.  I remember sharing this information with my good friend while we stood at a stoplight on our way home from church.

Summer 2003

Claude and I continued to communicate through email.  Sometime in the spring we entered into dating relationship of sorts (it's pretty hard to date when you're literally half a world apart) and we spent the next summer together again at the MasterWorks Festival.  After a few weeks there were more goodbyes, more emails, and more IM.  And, on my part, a growing impatience.

And then there was a phone call.

I remember sitting on the office floor at my parents' house staring at the reindeer on my pink fuzzy pajama pants.  Claude, being very to the point, simply said something along the lines of, "I think we should take a break".  I have no idea what I said to him - I honestly can't remember.  But I know that I was angry.

How could he?!  As if I was the only person in the relationship. This was NOT part of God's plan.  As if I know the thoughts of an omniscient God.  Didn't Claude know what God was doing???  As if I was the only one who heard from the Lord or knew how to do this thing "right".

I could only see God's plan through my ideas of how that would be worked out.  I had A LOT to learn about patience and trust.  And I also had a lot to learn about how God works.  Could my impatience and frustration, my pushing to get the show on the road, really stop God's work in our lives and our relationship?  If Claude was right or wrong in calling things off, did it really matter?  Isn't God way bigger than that?

After that phone call all correspondence was silenced.  For seven months.

To be continued...